How Photography Is Making Me A Better Mom

Today was one of those days, you know the ones where you kind of wish you could go back to bed for a while and start over. Or you could put your almost two year old in front of the TV for the day and just lay in bed and sleep and read novels (don't worry I didn't do that, not that I ever would, but I would worry to much about what all of you thought of me if I did). I don't know if it was the weather, or the fact that my kids have that cold that comes when the weather starts to change, but Lyla was a little out of sorts, and I was tired, and the combination made it a hard day.

I was telling Adam after we got the kids down, how I feel like I need to figure out how to handle my days better, to not get frustrated in my heart, or lose patience as much as I have been the past few weeks. I know only God can really change my heart and believe me, he and I have been having some heart to hearts regarding the condition of my heart. It sounds something like this, "God, please change me, I don't want to be like this with my kids, I'm tired, and frustrated, and feel like this day is going to go on and on forever. I know that my days are going to look like this for a while, for the next few years probably, so I know that I'm the one that needs to change and I need you to change me."

I know that this season is going to fly by and before I know it, I'll be the mom in the checkout at Target looking at the young mom with babies and toddlers and telling her that it goes so fast and to enjoy every minute. I'll probably forgot that as a young mom your trying really hard to enjoy every minute and we know that the days are flying because we haven't even had a chance to go to the bathroom or eat a hot meal without being interrupted. In my head, I know all this, but in my heart I've been feeling like wow, this season is kicking my butt right now.

And then I take some time to unload the photos I took for the day (or the month) to edit them and something changes in my heart and my perspective. I see the little moments in the day that matter and how sweet my children are and how blessed my life is, and all I want to do is cry at how amazing it is and I get excited to see them and cuddle and kiss them in the morning.



I see how this sweet girl, who never stops moving, who brings me books upon books to read throughout the day, who asks me to sing wheels on the bus over and over again, is growing.  When she is sleeping my heart stops and I see how long she looks and how she doesn't look like a baby anymore and I'm grateful for every moment I get to have with her.



And I see how this little guy who flashes his smiles at anyone who will give him attention, who is starting to belly laugh, and coos and talks to me when I have him on my lap. He isn't a newborn anymore.  He's more and more aware of his surroundings and is figuring out the world around him and all I want to do is scoop him up and hold him close.



I see the friendship that is already forming between my two little ones, the memories they will make together, and yes the trouble they will sometimes get into together.



I see my love, kissing and hugging our babies, and I think about how that fact that he loves our babies so well will change their lives and their futures forever and I fall in love with him all over again.

Looking at these pictures of the three people that mean more to me than anything in the world makes me want to do it all over again tomorrow. They make me realize how blessed I am and how good God is, and how I'm becoming a better person because of these three amazing lives. And even though it's messy and hard and exhausting, it's the greatest work I could ever do and it is so worth it.